Eleven years ago was five minutes ago: on getting older

Thursday, 23 February 2017

Sometimes I like to Whatsapp my husband with goofy photographs of the three of us. You know, to remind him of the mad people he's about to come home to. (Jellybean has mastered the Silly Photo Face: eyes widened as much as possible, firmly closed mouth, face downwards in order to create the biggest double chin. Genius.) Flicking through my camera roll in an attempt to find the most awkward selfie, I came to a conclusion:

'I'm actually starting to look old.'

Chris raised his eyebrows at me, later that night, as we sat in the bed feeding the baby and anticipating another terrible nights' sleep (It's the perfect time of day for an existential crisis, you should try it.)

'I mean it! I've got, like, wrinkles. Round my eyes. And my mouth. I don't look the way I used to.'

This is new territory for me. I don't mean this as a boast, because I hate it: I've always looked younger than I am. When I fell pregnant with Jellybean it was a legitimate concern of mine that people would look at me and think I was a teenage mother. (It turned out I was right to be worried. I had a few raised eyebrows when I started waddling around with my massive bump.) It's always been a touchy problem for me - people tended not to take me seriously, which immensely frustrated me. I always got ID'd for drinks. Once I even got asked for ID whilst trying to buy spray glue. I was twenty-three and had been married for two years at the time.

Notice how all that was in past tense? It suddenly dawned on me the other day that I couldn't remember the last time I got ID'd for anything. At all.

I've got lines around my eyes and my mouth.

I'm getting ... older.

I don't know how to feel about this. Happy? Worried? But in the spirit of honesty, I'll tell you I had a half an hour moment of overwhelming doom about it.

Chris, very gently, told me that yes, I do look older than when we first met, but given that we first met a long time ago, that's not an unexpected thing. He also, in a tactic that all husbands should use, suggested that I look better as I get older. (Good job Chris). And, in turn, that brought me round from thinking 'Oh no, my life is flying by and I can't stop it' to 'Hey, I get to grow older with this one person, which is great'.

'It feels like five minutes ago that we were, I don't know, driving around aimlessly in your car talking and listening to Sia and Presidents and Aqualung.' Sia before she was cool. Obviously. (Imagine a sunglasses emoji here: that's how I feel about my liking someone before they went mainstream.)

'Really? That feels like ages ago to me.' Chris paused.

'In fact, it was nearly eleven years ago.'

ARGH. I'M GETTING OLD.


But you know what? That's okay.

It's actually kind of good.

Read More:

Seven Quick Takes: Birthday Edition

All My Unwise Ways


Linking up with:

Brilliant blog posts on HonestMum.com

Mummuddlingthrough

Diary of an imperfect mum

18 comments:

  1. Growing old too...in style�� #coolmumclub

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  2. By pure coincidence my contribution to #ablogginggoodtime this week "fake or real" is also about aging and wrinkles, although I think your husband did a better job than mine! Aging is fine!

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    1. How funny! I'll have a read of your post later. Better to age than look fake I think :) x

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  3. I know exactly what you mean - I see it in my reflection too. I think there's something to be said in trying to grow old gracefully and embracing it :-)
    Thanks for sharing with #coolmumclub

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    1. Definitely - it's not worth fighting it. It's inevitable! x

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  4. I've always looked younger than I am and I always was mistaken for a teenage mum even though I was 24. I haven't clocked my first wrinkles yet, but I don't think it'll be long... eek! #coolmumclub

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    1. I'm glad someone else gets that too! I was ID'd for Calpol once. CALPOL. It's ridiculous. Part of me is relieved I don't have to worry about it as much as I used to ;) x

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  5. I think being a parent just ages you! I feel like my face has gained 10 years in the past year! #ablogginggoodtime

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    1. Oh definitely! I think my ageing has accelerated massively in the last three years or so! ;) x

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  6. a buddy of mine and I just got tagged in a pic that somebody found of us at a wedding about 8 years ago. Neither one of us could believe how young we looked, just that short time ago. We blamed our kids #blogginggoodtime

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    1. Blame the kids for sure. They are responsible for accelerated ageing! x

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  7. I'm still feeling like that Meg although you do get used to ageing. I hope I'm doing it with style and gracefully ;) I have to say I'm loving the grey in my hair and can't wait for it to go totally x

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    1. We go white in my family - from red to pure white! Eeek x

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  8. There are so many pros and cons to aging. i hate that im getting fatter but i love how its more time with my hubby growing older together! #ablogginggoodtime

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    1. This is the thing - the older we get, the more time we've spent together! :)

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  9. I'm going to be 32 tomorrow and I swear I am in total denial!!
    Thanks for linking to #ablogginggoodtime

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    1. Haha! Happy birthday for yesterday x

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