Eight amazing facts about two year olds

Monday, 11 January 2016

Recently, I sat down to watch a selection of videos that my father-in-law has filmed of Jellybean over the years. Right from when she was a tiny little wriggling thing that made strange noises and cried a lot, right up to most recently, when she could be seen ripping open Christmas presents and harrassing our auntie's dog.

It surprised me how un-weepy I felt looking at the videos of her as a newborn. (The six-month-chubby-cheek-stage nearly got me though). I loved watching little clips of her, but I was surprised to find that I don't really miss the baby stage.

(I do miss my short hair though. The thought 'Man, my hair looks so much better short' popped into my head quite a lot when I caught a glimpse of myself in the background of the 'Jellybean practices using her baby walker' video).

Because as adorable as babies are, two year olds? Are amazing (despite the whole 'terrible twos' thing). They are great for many reasons, but here are some of them:

1) Two year olds find the world unbearably exciting

One of Jellybean's favourite Christmas presents this year was a flashing, glittery bouncy ball I got her from Waterstones. To be fair, it's pretty amazing. She found the bouncy ball in her stocking and was happy enough when it was just sparkly and pretty, but then she came downstairs and bounced it onto our laminate flooring, and it suddenly started flashing with lots of beautiful headache inducing colours. 

Very quietly, under her breath, she said 'wow.' And then she ran up to it, squealing 'DADDY DADDY LOOK AT MY BALL ITS GOT LIGHTS ON IT DADDY QUICK LOOK!'


Life is just infinitely more exciting with a two year old. Which brings me onto

2) Two year olds make it socially acceptable to do childish things

Like jumping in puddles or eating lunch under the table or going on slides because they obviously can't do that on their own ....

3) Two year olds accidentally mangle the English language in the most adorable ways

Sometimes you need a dictionary to understand a toddler. For example, only Chris or I would understand the sentence 'Mama, I wipe up with my eteyant monge?' 

But Jellybean says things that are accidentally hilarious. Like 'space warwick' for space rocket (which brings to my mind the image of Warwick Davis floating in space). And 'I have a little bit of more please.' Or 'I have an eat!' (she says this A LOT. See point #4) or the way she says 'clock' without the 'L'.

Which leaves me feeling embarrassed when someone compliments her pretty boots (that we got from the shopping centre which has a giant clock in it) and she confidently replies 'I got them from the clock shop.'

4) Two year olds are constantly hungry

This has a negative side to it. The phrase 'I have an eat!' becomes quite grating when it is repeated twenty times in an hour. But it does mean that I have to have a constant supply of snacks in the house. My snack game is strong nowadays. No-one goes hungry in my house. (Including me!)

5) Two year olds are bossy but so cute that it makes you laugh a bit

'Mama, you play ball with me? PUT YOUR COFFEE ON THE TABLE NOW.' 

Again, bit of a double-edged sword because I have to keep turning my back on her in order to compose myself before turning around and giving her a lecture on not bossing people around. Sometimes she is so outrageously bossy that I do an involuntary laugh. I'm aware that's terrible parenting, but you know, we'll be able to rectify her bossiness later. Right?!

6) Two year olds are pretty matter-of-fact when it comes to feelings

I like that two year olds can squabble, cry, and then be best friends again thirty seconds later. At this stage, the word 'sorry' really means something to them. All is forgiven. 

It does make me want to cry a little bit, though, when she says things like 'I woke up at Auntie Sarah's house and, I cry. But Auntie Sarah give me a cuddle and then I okay.' Because it's so innocent. And factual. For example, Jellybean woke up crying on New Years Eve at midnight, and she said:

'There are BIG BANGS in my bedroom and I scared!' (pause, tears still streaming down cheeks) 'I okay now.'

7) Two year olds have a great sense of humour

'Mama?'

'Yes?'

(Giggles) 'I did a pop-pop.'

8) Two year olds give you all of the love



'I do drawing for you Mama.'

As cute as a gummy dribbly baby smile is, it gets even better when they learn to give you proper hugs. And kisses. And eskimo kisses! I mean, two-year-olds make you run around all day and they never allow you to drink coffee while it's still warm and you might feel emotionally and physically shattered by eight o'clock every night, but still, sometimes they spontaneously say 'I luff you.' Just when you need to hear it. And you remember why it's worth it, and you go to bed with a smile on your face ready to do it all again the next day. *Well, sometimes. Some days I go to bed at half seven and I feel about a hundred years old but we're not talking about those days right now

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If you currently have a two year old or have survived the toddler process in one piece ... come and share your funny kid stories with me! 

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