November round-up: feeling unChristmassy, and mad conversations with toddlers

Tuesday, 1 December 2015


Haven't written in a while. Sorry. It's funny because I feel like I haven't properly 'unwound' in a while and I think that's because putting my thoughts into words is the way that I do that. We've had a pretty busy November to be fair.

That's normal, though, I think. For family life. Sometimes I find myself with tons of time to spare, and sometimes I barely have time to get the washing done.

I should probably be doing washing now, actually ...


It is the first of December and I am not feeling at all Christmassy. Which is fine, because Christmas is, you know, not happening tomorrow. Instead, though, I am feeling tired. Like, utterly exhausted. Can't-use-my-brain-properly tired.

The un-funny thing about tiredness is that it stops you from doing all the stuff you want to do. Because the things you have to do (like, you know, cleaning) seems to take longer and I am unable to multitask as efficiently as I used to. I get to the end of an exhausted day and think: what did I actually accomplish today? I didn't do any amazing crafts with my toddler. I didn't go on a walk with her, I didn't help anyone, I didn't get time to pray, I didn't get my Bible study done, I didn't try anything new, I didn't get any writing done.

But then I remember that we shouldn't measure our worth as humans based on accomplishments. Because some tasks are just ongoing. Relationships, for example - with anyone. Child, parents, husband, friends. You never 'finish' them. You keep evolving them. Which is lovely, obviously.

But sometimes, you have days where everything that you do is ... not done. I think a lot of people are in the same position: day after day they do tasks that never get finished, jobs that won't get you praise or admiration, just things that you keep your head down and get on with.

Those little tasks, those never-ending things. They make a difference to the people you love.

So if you are having one of those 'daily grind' type days where mindfulness isn't working and you are starting to doubt that you are worth anything: stop a minute. As a person, you matter. Your life and all the things that you do with it, whether they are big grand accomplishments or just folding laundry yet again - are important.

That is about as deep as I can get on a half-working tired-brain!

Besides, I've still got 24 days to get into the Christmas spirit. And to do all my Christmas shopping.


Let's travel back to last Tuesday:

We are walking along a well-trodden path, on our way to toddler group. It is raining. Jellybean is toddling along. She picks up the most gross, slimy-looking stick she can find and then uses it as a walking stick. It makes her look like a hobbit with a raincoat on.


'Yes, baby?'

'I see ooshawatta now.'

I pause. Usually I can decipher what she's saying no problem. When she first started to babble and no-one understood what she was saying, I did. I know that 'wow-wow' means 'another one' and that 'disonaur' is 'dinosaur' and that 'heh-haa' means feather.

I have no idea what 'ooshawatta' means.

'What was that?'

She continues her toddling, aided by the slimy stick, which is now leaving mud trails on her hand and up the sleeve of her coat. 'I see ooshawatta today.'

She looks at me expectantly. Stops walking.

'Err ... ooshawatta?'

'Yep. Ooshawatta.'

I nod. 'I see.'

But she is still standing there. Waiting. I realise she is not going to be fobbed off. She knows I don't understand her and is waiting for the penny to drop.

'What do you mean, ooshawatta?'

'I see ooshawatta, Mama.' She's getting impatient now. I grope wildly in my brain for something that we might have seen along that path before.

'Er - caterpillar?'

She looks at me as if I am the most ridiculous person in the world and it is testing her patience just to be around me. 'NO Mama. Ooshawatta!'

I try and chivvy her along. 'Okay, you'll see an ooshawatta. Let's go to toddlers.'

'Ooshawatta Mama! Mama! Mama! Mama! Ooshawatta!'

And so on. All the way down the lane. We don't see an ooshawatta. I still have no idea what it means. I text it to my husband without any explanation. 'Ooshawatta.'

He doesn't even question it which says something about the messages we normally send each other.

I love it. I love being parent to a child who is just learning to talk. I love hearing what goes on in her head. She cheerfully told my mother the other day 'Nanny, I have spiders in my legs.'

Sometimes she calls my husband 'babe'.


Speaking of!

November was the month of my husbands thirtieth birthday! Which makes me feel a bit wobbly because he was twenty when we met, and to my teenage self twenty seemed quite grown up. I feel like I have blinked and suddenly we're almost middle-aged. But I honestly can't remember what life was like without him.

*Brief pause to allow you to make fake vomiting noises*

Anyway we had a week-long board gaming event and if you know my husband, you will know how unbelievably happy this made him, so thank you to everyone for coming and making it awesome. Many games were played, much junk food was eaten.

It was so good!

Here's some pics from this month:

I'm off to power nap!

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