'Good for her, not for me'

Thursday, 30 April 2015

I recently have become slightly enamoured with Amy Poehler (as a late-to-the-party convert to Parks and Recreation) and I read her book, Yes Please. Amy is as funny and witty and sharp as I imagined her to be.

And do you know what?

I really love the part where she says this:

"Good for her! Not for me." That is the motto that women should constantly repeat over and over again. "Good for her! Not for me."

Good for her, not for me.

Yes, yes, yes to this. Why do I make myself believe that I have to be all things to all people? Sometimes I let this get to me and I want to be smart, snappy, ambitious woman around my friends, down-to-earth-keepin'-it-real-Mum around other mothers, beautiful-composed-sexy-feminine constantly around my husband, and Martha Stewart around my mother (and mother-in-law). I end up being a weird sort of mismatched bits-of-everything person instead (which is, you know, like real life).

I'm happy with who I am right now. (Well, kind of). And you know, I might do things in the future that will surprise me, but right at this moment, here is a list of things I can boldly say are not for me:

  • I find loud noisy parties intensely stressful (unless 95% of the people there are people I've met before)
  • I am terrible at maths and get stressed if I need to add things up quickly
  • I can't speak any languages except English (unless 90's Sitcom Quotes is a language)
  • I don't speak loudly and I don't sound assertive when I speak
  • I can't wear heels without also wearing the expression of a woman about to fall to her death
  • I never look smart even when I try really hard
  • I don't know how to apply make-up properly. Or how to do hair (this may have something to do with the never-looking-smart thing)
  • I can't be bothered plucking my eyebrows until it gets to an emergency situation (ditto)
  • I'm not a career-climbing woman
  • I am rubbish at gardening
  • I don't know the names of plants or flowers
  • I can't sew
  • I have no sense of direction
  • I don't seem to find the time to paint my nails, ever
  • I don't have a degree and don't feel the need to get one at this stage in my life
  • I don't wake up in the mornings feeling ready to Conquer the World
  • I don't really get interior design (except 'this cushion is the same sort of colour as this cushion! That'll do!')
  • I'm not very adventurous (most of the time)
  • I don't, and have never, felt that I've missed out by not travelling around the world (although I do quite like holidays)

... and that's okay.

It's okay to have those things, or be good at those things. The trick is not thinking I am inferior or superior than anyone else. Differences are just differences, not set benchmarks that we have to reach.

The next time I see a glamorous Mum with a perfectly just-the-right-amount-of-casual outfit and painted nails and beautiful make-up I will smile and think 'good for her, not for me'.

The next time I speak to a friend about to embark upon an amazing round-the-world trip I will think 'good for her, not for me'.

The next time I am sitting amongst my ambitious, talented, goal-driven friends achieving job success and planning their next career move, I will thank God for them and think 'good for her, not for me'.

Take it. Use it. Apply it to your life.

'Good for her, not for me.'

It really frees up some head space, I tell ya.

Anyway, GTG, I've got some important TV viewing to do.

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