Friday, 20 March 2015

I'm having a blog block and it's because of the topic I'm trying to discuss today. I've been pinning inspirational quotes like it's going out of fashion (which it probably is) recently, and I came across this:

This made me laugh out loud because that is exactly me. I can't just think about things quietly in my head: I have to write them down, or at least say them out loud, before I can make sense of anything. I need an output for thoughts. Which is the reason, really, why I blog (and write a journal, and talk the ears off my husband, who understands my need to do this and rarely complains about it). Sometimes I need to work something out and nothing I write about seems to flow properly until I've sorted out the previous thing.

At the moment I am writing about things that I don't want to share with people.

But there's something else that's been on my mind that I want to write about today, too.

Recently the simple concept of God not only forgiving, but forgetting our sins has remain lodged in my head and I can't seem to be able to write anything else until I deal with this. So here I am: trying to figure it out.

Except I can't.

All the logistics of it make sense. I know that God is love, I know that He loves like a parent loves a child, even moreso. I know that He chooses, purposefully, to forget our sins: it's not that He is forgetful in nature, just that He decides not to remember our wrongdoings anymore.

I get it, in terms of being able to write it down.

I can even find it in scripture: 

“I—yes, I alone—will blot out your sins for my own sake
    and will never think of them again." - Isaiah 43:25 (New Living Translation)

So I get it. As a concept.

I just don't get it.

This post will probably be short because I haven't got much else to say about it really. But then I don't really need to say much else.

Sometimes it shocks me anew. Sometimes I need to just say it without care of what other people might think of me for it: this is my Father. I am His daughter. When I allow myself to forget that, I stress and I strive and I feel pulled in a hundred different directions and I get cross because I'm just not enough.

That is the good thing about God. I don't have to be anything. In fact, the less of me and the more of Him, the better. He makes my weakness strength. He makes my paths straight. He can take the most deep, tangled messes and bring them out into the light and transform them into a beautiful story of redemption.

He makes me new.

And I am trying to soak in the truth of it.

I expect I will write about this again at some point in the near future. If I am a bit inconsistent with my posting in the meantime: I'm sorry. I'm trying to get the balance between being disciplined and being too hard on myself!

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