Mummy Mondays - the life and times of our fake pet dog

Monday, 12 January 2015

I have to get something off my chest.

We have a few toy dogs in this house. This is because Jellybean is obsessed with them. 'Doggy' was her third word. She enjoys shouting it at the top of her voice whenever we walk past one.

But there are two dogs at home who are her absolute favourites. One of them is Snowy.

Snowy has taken on the persona of a loyal, patient, long-suffering pet. He is the kind of dog (if he were, of course, real) that would sit at your feet when you're feeling poorly, or bring you slippers, or waits patiently for you by the front door when you go out. In fact, he sits patiently on the shelf in the living room for my daughter every day. Where she finds him, scoops him up, and gives him a big cuddle.

In turn, Jellybean is quite gentle with him. She gives him squishy cuddles with a sigh of 'Doggy.' She puts him in her highchair. She pops him on the sofa.

Apparently Snowy gets to wear Mummy's jewellery too.

On the flip side, we also have a toy dog equivalent of an annoying excitable puppy.

He is everywhere, at once. How?! How does this happen?! As soon as I saw him (he is a present from my parents for Jellybean's birthday) I should have known that a moving, noisy toy dog might become a bit annoying. But wow. Here are some of the places I have found him:


I trip over him a lot. He seems to have this ability not mentioned in the instruction manual where he knows when you're trying to get away from him and so swivels around and charges full pelt in your direction. Even Jellybean gets annoyed with him sometimes. I have to stop her from committing an act of toy violence while she's screaming 'DOGGY!' as he flashes his lights and circles round and round her stamping feet.

He sings too, you know. I know all the words. To EVERY. SONG. Sometimes I find myself wandering around the house singing cheerfully 'Stand up, sit down, jump around and lie down! I'm a puppy on the go ...'

Which is an attractive song to sing to people.

Also I accidentally taught Jellybean how to turn the music on said dog (you have to press the triangle button three times). Sometimes she does this over and over again. Literally - press triangle three times - manic burst of dancing - song ends - repeat x 1,000,000.

He is even more annoying than that episode of In the Night Garden where the Pontipines and the Wottingers keep bumping into each other. (Please leave a comment if you've seen this, because OH MY GOODNESS, how many squeaking noises can they cram into one episode?!)

I do have a soft spot for him. And yes, he has, in a strange way, become part of our home. Even, perhaps, part of our family. Both dogs sit with my daughter whatever she's doing:

(I swear this isn't staged - this is really how I find her. Wedged between the two of them. Who needs real pets?!)

Anyway, I really needed to write about this blimming dog, because this just happened:

Either I'm going crazy or the neighbours' kid has the exact same toy and I heard it through the walls. In which case, I am shortly about to go crazy.

Or the dog is playing tricks on me.


I'm off to check I'm not about to be attacked by a knife-wielding dog. BRB!

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