little things

Sunday, 3 November 2013

Short, rambly post of nonsense today.

It's been a crazy week. Baby B had her first lots of vaccinations, which is a horrendous moment for any new parent, and she pretty much spent the whole day afterwards crying in outrage. That combined with getting her hips scanned (all fine!) and pushing her up an extremely steep hill in her buggy to get to said scan, her general crankiness and clinginess and her infected fingernail, a missed flu jab appointment (for me!) and exhaustion on mine and Chris's part, it's been a blur.

So, a moment to pause, and some things to be thankful for ...

Autumn/winter and the snuggly clothes that come with it.

A baby that watches her Daddy with fascination from the comfort of her bouncy chair ... even when he's just unloading the dishwasher.

New hair, and a brand new laptop to take stupid photos with! I can't tell you how blessed we've been with this laptop - a gift from some very lovely people.

Not much to say really, other than I'm exhausted. I caught myself at the start of the week feeling kind of annoyed. Annoyed that I can't afford to learn to drive, and therefore have to struggle with buses or pay a fortune in taxi fairs to get anywhere, and I can't just 'nip' to the shops in the car for medicine for my child, and it's not fair on my husband who has to drive us everywhere when he's not driving for a living at work. I found myself crying at six in the morning after being awake for three hours with my crying child, who can't seem to sleep for more than an hour at a time, and how come some babies sleep all the way through from day one? And also, how come some women (In fact, a lot of women) aren't left immobilised by horrendous stomach cramps every month? And how on earth do I cope with going dizzy and sick whilst looking after a tiny baby?

But obviously, I am being a bit of a brat. Later in the week, we received the quite frankly amazing gift of the new laptop, which is extremely swish (and SO SHINY!) Then Baby B surprised us by sleeping for five and a half hours in a row which is a new record for her.

Finally, last night, feeling in pain and jiggling baby around the living room to try to get her to settle down, it hit me that I am actually extremely blessed, and there's blessing in everything, especially in the crying baby (because how long will it be before she doesn't need us so much anymore, and how much will we miss her cuddles then?). And you know, I walked everywhere as a kid, and we managed. I'm still pretty good at walking now without getting too tired. There's even blessing in the stomach cramps, in a convoluted sort of way.

I don't need new laptops to be reminded of this (though it helps). I don't need to be disappointed when baby wakes up every hour instead of sleeping for six like I hoped for. Because these things don't really matter. Not in the long run. It's okay to be grumpy sometimes, because no one is as shiny and happy as Pollyanna, and I don't think I'd want to be that crazy person that grins vacantly when bad stuff happens ('Alright, my gun jammed!') but it's not okay to wallow in said grumpiness.

And also, how amazing is it to have a God that surprises me with blessings even when I'm not really deserving of it? Very amazing! :)

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