Grab the season before it goes

Tuesday, 19 November 2013

I dislike the term 'yolo'.

Although it's quite fun to shout out in a stupid way. YOLO! But anyway, I don't like it, because I've seen it used to justify some spectacularly stupid decisions. I get the principle behind it though - seize the day. Hakuna Matata! Etc.

I feel a bit like that today.

I finally got round to getting pictures and videos from Chris's phone backed up, and I found myself having a little emotional moment about how fast Baby B is growing. She was so small! And grumpy looking! She made helpless little squeaks like a hamster and she spent most of her time with her lips pursed in a permanent 'oooooooooooh'.

Now she's all rolls of fat and gummy smiles. She can be pulled up from laying down by her hands (and she loves it!) she is developing a preference for songs (she particularly likes 'a sailor went to sea sea sea'). She can reach out and bat her toys in her baby gym (though it takes all her concentration) and if I lean over her she tries to bat my hair with her little fists. She squeezes her teddy-blanket-thing, Frank, and chews on him with delight. She laughs when we copy her noises. She looks at me and bursts into tears when having cuddles with people she doesn't know very well, even if I'm sat right next to her. When did she become this little person? Full of vibrant personality with likes and dislikes?

I guess a lot of my posts have a similar theme going on at the moment. It's all about gratitude and thankfulness and such. But wow, it's so important. Just to take a moment to soak it all in. I stare at her and I somehow try to cement the memory in my brain, to carve it in my heart so I'll remember it forever. And part of me is scared I won't remember, so I take photo after photo and film after film. But at the end of the day, I realise there's nothing I can do. She's growing and changing and it's bittersweet. With every tiny baby quirk that is gone, a great big leap of personality arrives to take its place.

I was walking to Sainsbury's the other day and I realised that autumn is nearly over. My favourite season, almost gone for another year. The leaves were falling constantly like red and gold confetti. I made a vow that, on the next day with no rain, I'd get my wellies on and take Baby B to the park.

So the next day I grabbed a break between the rain and legged it out there. Baby B didn't really get it - I took her out and showed her the trees, and she quickly squirmed and cried and so I had to strap her back in the pram and push her until she fell asleep - but I was glad I went. Just to enjoy a moment, just for myself. A moment of peace.

I guess this is what it feels like to catch moments and keep them. Some of them I might forget, but some I might remember, and surely it's worth entering into every moment 100%, being fully present wherever I am, my mind firmly on what's happening rather than other silly stuff ... just in case.

Two more things I am thankful for today:

Birdy bum.

Cup that keeps my tea warm until I can drink it (which is often long after I make it), that doesn't make said tea taste like metal. Excellent!

God bless everyone xx

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