fight the good fight

Monday, 4 February 2013

My thankful thing for today is being well. I’m back to work, back to church, generally back to normal, and my spots are gradually fading. Already I look completely different. I’m grateful every time I get changed and I see them slowly disappearing. I’m grateful that my body works the way it should; that I’m able to do the things I have to do; to walk, talk, eat, breathe, laugh, stretch.

Part of getting back to normal is catching up with things I haven’t been able to do, both in and out of work (though my husband has been shouldering a lot of my stuff while I’ve been ill). But a lot of those catching-up-things are SO BORING.

There’s cooking. Washing. Ironing. Loading and unloading the dishwasher. Wiping the tops down. Sweeping and mopping. Cleaning the bathrooms. Sorting out the recycling. Trying to figure out which batteries on the side are charged and which ones aren’t. Going to Poundland to buy some plastic boxes for our wardrobe. Going to work in the dark and coming home in the dark. Waiting at a bus stop on a icily cold morning. Staring in despair at the mountain of ironing that seems to grow on a daily basis. Do you know what I mean? Life, especially in the winter, can sometimes just feel like … routine. I forget to be thankful for it all.

A small disclaimer: I’m not talking about the hard times. The fight-for-life times, the despair or depression or dark times. These are different moments. (For me, these are often moments where I cling to God more than ever). I'm grateful that life is ticking along, that nothing dramatic is happening, that all is well and fine and good. Sometimes, though, I get busy but lazy, complacent and lacklustre. I dislike this attitude in me, and it's what I'm thinking about today.

How do you feel alive in God when you’re squashed onto a bus with your plastic containers, feeling your hair frizz up from the rain and the skin on your hands crack from the cold, trying to put your purse away without elbowing the person next to you and hoping you won’t catch germs from the person behind you coughing chestily into your ear?

The answer is, I guess, down to me.

I forget you see, that I’m still being saved. Salvation has occurred, but it’s not finished. It’s still working out. God is still moulding me, and sometimes I’m the most stubborn, resistant medium He could have chosen to work with. He needs me to play my part.

I need to choose it. I need to get up every day and decide to give that day to God. I need to decide to open up my Bible or switch my iPod to sermons instead of music or decide to have a moment of quiet every now and then to think about Him. I need to choose to open up my prayer journal every night, even on the days when I’m barely coherent with tiredness.

The truth is, God isn’t a genie that just grants me whatever I want whenever I want it. I can’t just choose to be obedient one day and not the next. I need to choose to be obedient on the days where I’m more gritting my teeth than jumping for joy. I need to choose to be thankful on the days when the routine is getting me down and God feels a million miles away, as well as the days where I hear Him clearly and my soul sings with the joy of it all.

Thinking of these verses today:

‘Fight the good fight of faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called.’ 1 Tim 6:12

‘Continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling.’ Phil 2:2

And I’m thankful for God for my fully functioning body. For hands to write.

 I’m thankful to God for words of wisdom at just the right time.

More on this soon I think J

1 comment:

  1. I love your honesty so much!! Thank you for being open and vulnerable, it challenges and inspires me. Love you, hun xxx


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