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Monday, 19 November 2012

I address my first post to my two categories of readers: my accountability pals, Adele, Sam and Sarah, whom I love. Let me say this: hi! Also, how amazing are you guys that I can be totally honest with you and not fear the consequences? Pretty darn awesome, that's how much.

To my second group of readers (otherwise known as the imaginary ones) I will explain who I am and why I'm here and all that.

I'm on a journey with my faith that involves ups and downs and lefts and rights and stopping and starting over again. It's like I've learnt to drive, and suddenly forgotten, and I keep stalling and trying again. You know? It's like I keep going a little bit further and then I have to stop for a rest. That's not good enough for my God, and that's not the kind of woman I want to be. I want to be the kind of woman that stays at her post; I want to be the kind of woman that keeps on praying and reflecting and reading and loving even when times are terrible. Even when times are amazing and I don't feel like I need God. Even when times are in the middle and I'm lukewarm.

I feel old, and tired. Which is silly. I am young and healthy I should be living life like a celebration. Like the song, you know: 'You taught me how to live rejoicing everyday.'

That's the girl I want to be. I'm realistic, mind: life sucks sometimes, and the last thing I want to do is praise God when the times get tough. Even if sometimes it's through gritted teeth, though, I want to do it. I want to wake up. I want to open my eyes. I want to see Him in the smallest and quietest of things as well as the biggest and loudest.

I want to be creative. I want to be intelligent, but I want to be sensitive: I want room to be nostalgic and silly and philosophical and 'deep'. I want to chip away at the hardened, cynical, sarcastic part of me that is growing bigger by the day.

I want my relationship with God to be real. Tangible. I want God's love to beat with mine, I want His love flowing through my veins, I want to feel Him with every breath I take. I'm asking for a lot, really, a lazy Christian 'I-praise-only-on-a-Sunday' girl like me, but I believe in Him, and I believe in miracles, and I believe in unfailing love despite my own weaknesses.

So there we go. That's who I am, that's where I am, that's where I want to get to.

Maybe I'll meet others going on a journey too. A 'get-serious-about-God' journey. I hope so, that would be kind of cool. As long as I'm keeping this public, I promise to be honest, without endangering myself or others, and I promise to be real.

Sarah, Sam and Adele - keep me on track, will you? If I don't post at least a photo once a week, I'm probably not doing that well.

Love you guys!

God bless,

Meg



3 comments:

  1. Loved reading this. Really inspiring. I can't wait to join with you and dig deep into the word and into the nitty gritty of what i believe. Time to get serious for god as you worded it. Love you

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  2. Thanks for sharing, beautiful girl. I am so proud of you and your heart for God and I am honoured to partner with you in this journey as we seek to be closer to and more like Him.

    Love you xx

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  3. Thank you guys. It really made me smile to read your comments. So blessed to have you standing with me xx

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