Monday, 19 November 2012

I address my first post to my two categories of readers: my accountability pals, Adele, Sam and Sarah, whom I love. Let me say this: hi! Also, how amazing are you guys that I can be totally honest with you and not fear the consequences? Pretty darn awesome, that's how much.

To my second group of readers (otherwise known as the imaginary ones) I will explain who I am and why I'm here and all that.

I'm on a journey with my faith that involves ups and downs and lefts and rights and stopping and starting over again. It's like I've learnt to drive, and suddenly forgotten, and I keep stalling and trying again. You know? It's like I keep going a little bit further and then I have to stop for a rest. That's not good enough for my God, and that's not the kind of woman I want to be. I want to be the kind of woman that stays at her post; I want to be the kind of woman that keeps on praying and reflecting and reading and loving even when times are terrible. Even when times are amazing and I don't feel like I need God. Even when times are in the middle and I'm lukewarm.

I feel old, and tired. Which is silly. I am young and healthy I should be living life like a celebration. Like the song, you know: 'You taught me how to live rejoicing everyday.'

That's the girl I want to be. I'm realistic, mind: life sucks sometimes, and the last thing I want to do is praise God when the times get tough. Even if sometimes it's through gritted teeth, though, I want to do it. I want to wake up. I want to open my eyes. I want to see Him in the smallest and quietest of things as well as the biggest and loudest.

I want to be creative. I want to be intelligent, but I want to be sensitive: I want room to be nostalgic and silly and philosophical and 'deep'. I want to chip away at the hardened, cynical, sarcastic part of me that is growing bigger by the day.

I want my relationship with God to be real. Tangible. I want God's love to beat with mine, I want His love flowing through my veins, I want to feel Him with every breath I take. I'm asking for a lot, really, a lazy Christian 'I-praise-only-on-a-Sunday' girl like me, but I believe in Him, and I believe in miracles, and I believe in unfailing love despite my own weaknesses.

So there we go. That's who I am, that's where I am, that's where I want to get to.

Maybe I'll meet others going on a journey too. A 'get-serious-about-God' journey. I hope so, that would be kind of cool. As long as I'm keeping this public, I promise to be honest, without endangering myself or others, and I promise to be real.

Sarah, Sam and Adele - keep me on track, will you? If I don't post at least a photo once a week, I'm probably not doing that well.

Love you guys!

God bless,



  1. Loved reading this. Really inspiring. I can't wait to join with you and dig deep into the word and into the nitty gritty of what i believe. Time to get serious for god as you worded it. Love you

  2. Thanks for sharing, beautiful girl. I am so proud of you and your heart for God and I am honoured to partner with you in this journey as we seek to be closer to and more like Him.

    Love you xx

  3. Thank you guys. It really made me smile to read your comments. So blessed to have you standing with me xx


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